What is "Real" Love?

Don’t tell me you love me, show me.  I have heard this repeated many times or I have seen it as a posting on Facebook.  I have been trying to understand what people mean by that statement.  What do they actually want us to show them to “prove” our love to them?

I am thinking that their definition of true love must be some of the following:

Always agree with me no matter what.

Never leave me out of anything you talk about.

Believe the way that I believe.

Never upset me or make me mad.

Don’t say the wrong things to me.

Never make me feel like I am being lied to.

Allow me to say or do whatever I want to you.

If that is how one shows true love for another, I think many of us will fail.  I would like to think when someone truly loves you they have the following attributes:

They don’t always agree with you but they still love you.

They are not afraid to call you out when you are in the wrong.

They are always there when you truly need them no matter what.

They accept you for who you are.

They may get mad at you but they will always forgive you.

They accept your beliefs even if they differ from yours.

They don’t expect you to be perfect.

They love you faults and all.

If you are constantly requiring of others what you yourself are not willing to give, you will be a very lonely and unhappy person.  We are all human, and that means we will all make mistakes, perhaps over and over again.  Always trying to find the worst in others or just waiting for them to make a mistake so you can cut them out of your life is hurting no one but yourself.  Thinking that everyone is out to get you is a sad way to live.  When you seem to be having problems with almost everyone in your life, perhaps the problem is with you and not them.  Stop complicating every relationship you have with others, lighten up; if you want friends, you truly have to be one.

What Would Jesus Do?

This latest controversy in the news involving Kim Davis, the County Clerk who refused to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple has stirred some emotions within me.  There was a time I would have just hailed someone like her as a hero and a true “Christian” for standing up for her convictions.  Thank God, literally that he has softened my heart and opened my eyes up to what real Christianity is truly about.

I admire those who have strong beliefs, I have some myself and I think we all do.  I think a person should stand up for what they believe in, to a certain extent.  When you have been hired to perform certain services, you need to be willing to abide to those services to the best of your ability.  The one thing I have learned during my education towards my degree in Human Services is that you cannot allow your personal bias to interfere with your obligation to help all people in need, regardless of their sex, religious views, or even their lifestyle. 

I have heard people say they would quit their job before they would serve those who live a certain lifestyle, and that is certainly their prerogative.  What is not acceptable though, is expecting to keep a job when you do not do the job that you are expecting to be paid for.  Hailing someone a hero for defying his or her superiors is misguided.  She claims she was doing this to stand up for her beliefs and yet she would certainly be offended if an establishment refused her service because of her holiness appearance. 

This is where so-called Christians leave me disheartened.  Do they not understand that God knows their heart?  Just because you do your job and issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple, does not mean you are agreeing with their lifestyle.  Do they not understand that God will not condemn them for showing unconditional love to others, even if they are different from themselves?  Just imagine what that couple would have thought if they see this obviously holiness woman be kind to them and just give them a warm smile?  Her refusal to serve them just makes her seem prejudice and unkind.  Is that truly the message that Christians want to give to others? 

My life has become so much happier since I have opened my heart up to accept everyone for who they are.  I do not have to agree with everyone’s lifestyle to love them, and I try to leave each person I come into contact with a feeling of importance and respect.  Some will say I am just compromising, but I like to think of it as putting the “human” in human services.